I'm BACK, baby!

What a trip! I had a great time and will be back later tonight so fill you all in on a pretty crazy weekend! Lots of work to do, well, not really, I only had 2 additional easy work orders and 6 phone calls (not bad!). So I made it back in one piece and I'll fill you all in a bit later tonight after I pick up the Mouse from ballet. Lots of good stories to tell and also some good news about my brother so prepare yourselves for what might possibly be the longest internet blog post of all time. :)

Have a great day all!

The Weekend Future, The Weekend Past :)

Sorry all, I know I promised a huge update last night but I just couldn't get to it after getting all ready for my big trip. I leave tomorrow and to say I am excited would be an understatement! I leave tomorrow afternoon and am I ready to go!

Ok, update time!

What a great weekend I had, a lot of fun. Lori and Mary and I went out on Friday night, and if I do say so myself, I looked pretty damn good. We ended up going to Brittania and closing that place (I almost shit when they turned the lights on), and then we headed back to my house and partied until 5:00am! Damn! Couldn't believe it! We had a lot of fun and both of those girls are great. I was in rare form and had them both rolling in the aisles, as I was relentless on my picking on of other people. Red Vomit, Corpse, Captain Redneck. :) What I like about both of them is that Lori and Mary are completely different, but relatively, the same. They are both quite hot, very mature, great conversationalists, smart, and a lot of fun to be around. Good times!

Saturday, the three of us went to Beef's for the Penn State game and Bill and Leena were there so I introduced the girls to them and we all had a great time. The previous night we made plans to go to the Seafood Festival after the football games, but that went out the window as we all got too drunk all afternoon to do any kinds of driving. So, we ended up staying there for quite a while until the early evening and pretty much called it a night. Penn State won and we all had a great time, so I went home drunk and happy.

Sunday I got a lot of things done and went to the new Target and bought a bunch of shit I needed for great prices. I then headed over to the bar for the Eagles game where Bill and Kyle joined me. I almost got in a fight at the bar with two Redskins fans, and pretty much challenged the dude to shut his wife's mouth up. Dumb bitch. I was relentless and the comebacks that were flying out of my mouth were alltime classics. Then, to add fuel to the fire, the Eagles lost in the last minute of play, and our season is pretty much over.

I'm pretty much packed and ready for my trip. I got all my clothes washed and ready to go, and I have all of my plans (well, except for Saturday) pretty much set in stone. Marilyn WILL be accompanying me to the game on Thursday, and I'll be staying there on Thursday night (more on this later). Wednesday night is with Brian at his house (poor kid, that shit with his divorce is getting out of hand), and Friday day is with Tire and company, and then Friday night is the BIG Halloween party. Saturday is wide open and I'll just take it as it comes, although TerriLynn, who I talked to on Thursday I think, is adamant about seeing me. Ya know, how weird. I have NEVER called that girl; she always calls me. She puts me over all the time, calling me 'her sexy daddy' ;) Maybe I am not giving her enough credit, and just burying her because of her age and her partying. Christ, she sure does show a lot of interest in me, I can tell you that. Hmmmmm......

Anyway, what else? Oh - get this shit - so I am at the gym on Friday and am doing shoulder presses on my last set and the next to last rep on the last step I am pushing myself and just get the most tremendous pain in my right shoulder. I swear i thought I heard a tear but it was probably my imagination. Nevertheless, the shoulder is as sore as FUCK (still, on Tuesday morning) and I haven't lifted since. Goddamn, ya know?

It's supposed to be record highs here today. BUT that hasn't stopped the sexy girls here from starting to wear their boots! Props to the two lovely ladies I saw yesterday in their black leather kneehigh boots with their jeans tucked inside of them, looking just so delicious. They're starting to come out and just mmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! Yum! Oh! And speaking of that!!!!!

So for Halloween, me, Mary and Lori were talking about how disappointed we were that we were all going to miss Terri's big party (which is Saturday). Lori is going out of town, as am I, and Mary has a prior engagement. Anyway, Bill tells us that his kickass band is playing on Halloween night downtown at WildWing for a HUGE Halloween shindig. PERFECT! We decided right there that is what we are doing. So far so good, right? So I head over to Lori's building yesterday, and we were bullshitting about the fun weekend we had and she tells me she went shopping yesterday for her Halloween costume. I ask her what she is gonna be, and she said Mary is gonna be a sexy flapper, and she is going to be 'Miss Galaxy'. I ask 'Miss Galaxy?', and she proceeds to tell me "Yeah, I have these awesome kneehigh silver boots that I just love and want to wear so bad, so I made a costume totally around them. I got this short silver dress and sash, and just totally made my outfit around these boots." Well I just damn near fell through the floor and cannot WAIT to see this sexy chick in her kinky silver boots, YUM!!!!!!! It should be one helluva Halloween I can tell you that! Cannot wait! ;)

Lori and I made plans to go see "Dan, In Real Life" when I come back. And damn was Leena and Bill pushing me this weekend in regards to her! We'll see what happens but I must say we make an excellent pair, and Lisa told me so. Lisa and I were outside smoking and said she was concerned about me because she really never saw me with a girl since I've known her. So, I told her alllllllll about Marilyn and the complete travesty that was, about our long-distance relationship after, well, she packed up and left. After I went off about the entire ordeal, going into great detail (being half-wasted helped), telling her how heartbroken I was about it, Leena said something to me that I'll never forget: "She didn't love you." I really didn't know what to say and felt kinda ..... ashamed. No, evidentally she didn't.

Shoutouts to Mary and Lori! So if you aren't totally offended by my brutal honesty on here already girls (like you're ever gonna find this blog), then I told you I would! :)

I got to see the Mouse yesterday as I picked her up from ballet, and I'll pick her up form school today to hang out for a while as well. Me and my ex-wife are going to set up the schedule for Julia for the rest of the year tonight as well. I am super excited because I found out that Disney on Ice is coming to Savannah! Yes! So I am going to take Julia to that and it should be GREAT as it is the special Princess one! The kid is going to freak out! And then, the Fair is making it's way back and will be in full force when I come back! I cannot wait, and I have decided that Julia and I will probably go one night with Tina and Gina, and one night with Lori. Should be a lot of fun :) Tina has been kind put on the backburner due to her crazy friend Ali being there, but we'll just see about that one......

I have two trips to Tampa set for December, one for the Reunion Show II, and the other for the Bums/Bolts near the end of the year. Lori and I agreed that if Penn State plays in a Florida bowl game, we are SO there. Penn State / Georgia in the Outback Bowl on New Years Day in Tampa would be pretty sweet, wouldn't ya think? Go LIONS! Matt has yet to get the tix for Montreal so that trip is up in the air (although I REALLY wanna go), and I still haven't heard anything about France. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Well this will probably be my final update before my trip. It should be a great trip and I am very excited. I cannot WAIT to see the Bums on Thursday (although I just found out that it is Nitty starting in goal instead of Biron, grrrrr). I'm looking forward to seeing the Jaguar and hanging out with him for a night, and Thursday should be ..... interesting to say the least with Marilyn. I'm looking forward to seeing her too I guess, and I DO have some things I want to do to her, lol, but I also have some things I need to say to her as well, although I don't know when the words will come out of my mouth. Maybe I'll invite her early Saturday afternoon for brunch? Friday should be fun with Tire and the party (!), and Saturday, who knows. Sunday is the drive back and I am sure I'll be wiped out from all the festivities.

Have a kickass weekend, all of my internet friends. And remember: love conquers all.

Practice!

As a treat for you all, I give you the greatest sports interview of all time. Allen Iverson, former Sixer, says the word "practice' 25 times in 2 minutes and 22 seconds. I hate basketball, but my god is this interview funny.

Don't worry all, I will be back with a MAJOR update tonight. LOTS to tell after a very good weekend! ;)

Enjoy and have a good day! PRACTICE!

Pumpkins!

Good morning all! Happy Friday!

So let's see .... what is going on?

Julia spent the night last night and we had such a great time. We washed and drew faces on the pumpkins because there was no way I was carving them, no way. We played and did some letters afterwards and then played in her room, and before I knew it, it was time for bed. She slept great, woke up so nice and peaceful and greeted me with a huge good morning hug which damn near melted my heart and made me feel so damn good. I got her dressed, we had waffles, played a little bit, I combed her hair and washed her face, and out the door we went. Such a good little kid she is, so funny, and just a pleasure to be around. Bless her angelic little heart. She just makes me feel so good. Like yesterday, for example, I was a bit down for a little while, for unknown reasons, and just comes into the kitchen and looks at me and goes 'Daddy, you are SOOOOOO handsome!" Made me smile so huge and just brought me right back up. They say that the first person a little girl falls in love with is her father. I certainly feel that, and it makes me feel like I am the king of the world. The king of the fucking world.

I'm glad it's Friday. Work has slowed down a bit which is good and I am just taking one thing at a time. I'll probably be heading up to Brittania tonight, and then tomorrow hanging with Lori (hot) and Mary (hot) in the afternoon to watch the PSU game, then out with Tina and Ali to the Seafood festival at night. Sunday is devoted to cleaning: myself, the house, the car. I wanna get all that stuff done before the Eagles game at 1 which I'll go watch up at Beef's. Should be a good weekend, and next weekend should be even better. I thought about going to the beach tomorrow morning for some sun but it doesn't look like that is going to happen as it has been raining nonstop since last night. I don't mind, we need it and it keeps the temps down.

Talked to Dale last night and he is doing good. He is back from his honeymoon and I'll see him and the new office next week. He even offered me a place to stay. Plus, he's gonna pay the man which is tremendous.

I thought The Office was great last night. I know they are having problems with the hour format, and it shows sometimes, but I really like the character development they have shown so far. Excellent work with Michael last night, as well as Pam and Jim. Pam and Jim, especially after last night's episode, strike me as such a genuine couple. The smile and expression on Pam's face after Jim kissed her was just one of pure love and happiness. Great great job, and I'll be watching the episode again soon.

Ya know who is a good hockey team? The Philadelphia Flyers. We improved to 5-1 after beating the Devils last night 4-0. They didn't play very well AT ALL, but goddamn, still getting the shutout? Tremendous! Cannot WAIT to see them next week! Go BUMS!

Ya know, I know they are people and have had tough times and shit, but my God do the homeless people around here aggravate me. Every single time -- EVERY single time -- I see one, they always stop me and ask for money or a smoke. I know, I know, it doesn't sound very nice, but I am sorry. It's become quite the aggravation and I'm pretty tired of it. This happens on a constant basis.

Marilyn? Well..... I'm getting pretty tired of her immature act. She said some terrible things about TerriLynn yesterday, and then began to give me the runaround about wanting to see me and go to the game. It's just all so ... childish and annoying. I could care less what she does, really, with her boyfriend Paul. In the grand scheme of things, ya know, in life, all I know is that no matter what happens, that girl will never have anyone in her entire lifetime that will love her more than I did, will fuck her better than I did, or would be a better father than I would. If she wants to drink and smoke and party her way through life (and believe me, she's on her way, ala Kirsten), then that's her choice. I guess I really just don't care too much anymore as she needs to wake the fuck up. Her inability to make any kind of concrete decision has costed her so much in the life, and she doesn't even know it. The byproduct of that is the ordeal in which her actions never matched her words. She broke the heart of the two people in this world that loved her the most, and I am absolutely positive that it will happen again, going for the hat trick (watch out Paul!). But the ironic thing is, that after all her heartbreaking, is that when she finally does find all she is 'looking for' (whatever the fuck that may be), it will blow up in her face. It's called karma, and that girl is walking around with such a huge bag of it over her head just waiting to explode. We'll see about this game on Thursday and just go from there. If she doesn't want to go, then just forget it. As mentioned before, her loss, and a grave one at that.

I think that's about it. Man do I love this blog. Feels so good to write down my feelings and share them with you all. Thanks. :)

"I don't need to be the king of the world, as long as I'm a hero to this little girl! Heaven isn't too far away! Closer to it every day!" 80's hair metal rules! :)

Rapid-fire!

All right, I'm pretty tired but I'd thought I'd give you all a rapid-fire update on what's going on. Here we go.

Julia and I went to the pumpkin patch yesterday! It was tremendous and we got a daddy pumpkin, a little kid pumpkin, and a baby pumpkin. We had a lot of fun and my plan is not to carve them, but to wash them and we will draw on them tomorrow. She'll be spending the night and I truly cannot wait. Steph gave me Julia's school pictures and my god, they are incredible. The kid could be on the cover of a magazine, I swear. I'm going to scan them and make extra prints and send them up to my mom.

I have decided to ditch the meds. My body simply cannot handle them they have made me sick and made me feel worse mentally. I did not take them today and had a much better day. My body, my choice.

The Philadelphia Flyers are a damn good hockey team. I cannot wait to see them next week.

I spoke with Marilyn today. She called me after her appt for her biopsy on her cervix. She is very scared as it possibly might have an effect on her having children. My heart goes out to her, it really does. She just seemed so scared and sad. She told me today she really doesn't know what to do about her life. I know that she has to figure that out all for herself. I told her today that there are SO many things I wish I could change. How very true. She wants me to come, she doesn't want me to come, I don't know. Oh, and like an ass, I told her about this blog. Not the address, but just that it exists. So Marilyn, if you're reading this, Hi! (waving hand) Don't worry friends, it will not stop me from being completely honest about everything here :)

Kid Nation is such a damn good show.

"Helplessly Hoping" by Crosby, Stills and Nash is one of my favorite songs. Teared me up today. They are 1 person, they are too alone, they are 3 together, they are for each other. Brilliant and amazing.

I'm going to be Quagmire for Brian's Halloween party. Giggity giggity! And my friend Brad is going to be a flasher -- with a paper towel dispenser as a boner. Hysterical!

TerriLynn called me last night. She keeps pressing me about if I am going to see her on Saturday. I told her that I don't know, that my plans are up in the air. She said she really wants to see me. I still don't know what I am going to do, but I gotta tell you all that it is sure nice to be wanted. I don't get that alot, and really never did.

I can't believe Amanda is 36! No way! I actually lost an age bet! So I guess I have to take her out to lunch now. :) She is adorable and told me that Julia is so beautiful and so precious. We talked alot about her background and her parents' divorce which was very hard and she put me over bigtime for being such a good dad. She's from Tampa too, I couldn't believe it.

Speaking of adorable, Mary is so damn cute. She showed me the darkroom today in the photo lab and I kinda got the impression that she wanted me to grab her and start making out with her right there. :) I catch her looking at me alot which I don't mind one bit. :) And that hair, what a pretty girl. Me, her and Lori, who I also saw today and look quite cute, are going to hang out on Saturday.

I've been noticing girls checking me out more. Am I a good catch or something? :)

Fuckin' Wasabi's pissed me off so damn bad, 40 minutes to wait for lunch. They knew I was pissed. Jon and Shannon got and ate their entire sushi and I was still sitting there. I was BOILING.

Is you is or is you ain't my baby?! :)

Good night all!

Ramblings!

It was so good to see Julia yesterday as I picked her up from ballet class. We hung out for a few minutes and I took her over to my ex-wife's mom's house for dinner. She gave me such a big hug and before she went she ran over to me, wrapped her little arms around my legs, and said 'I wanna go to Peanut's house', right in front of my ex-wife's mom. Yikes. I bent down and gave Julia a big hug and told her that everything is going to be OK, and that I will see her tomorrow. That kid loves me so much and it's a great feeling to be loved like that. :)

I just saw Mary and damn does that girl look good today. I should ask her out.

The Bums are back in action tonight against Atlanta, so I'll get to watch the game. Yes!

I hung out with Tina and Ali last night for about an hour, they are both doing well, well Ali is still messed up (I haven't even scratched the surface on that story). This weekend is the Seafood Festival in Richmond Hill so we'll probably end up going to that. Nice.

Slowly but surely, one thing at a time today.

After thinking about it yesterday, I've come to the realization that Marilyn and I are complete and total opposites. We really have nothing in common anymore.

Have a good day everyone. :)

A great weekend with my best friend.

I took those damn meds again this morning and I'm nauseous as hell. Again, I don't know if it is from having so much beer yesterday, or the pill itself. I'm gonna stay on it for the next few days and see what happens, to figure this out one way or another.

What a wonderful weekend Julia and I had. Friday night I picked her up and my mom sent the albums filled with photos from her trip and birthday party up north a few months back. I brought those along and we went to ToysRUs to get the Aladdian DVD for Gina. Well we get to the movie section and here I am like an ass not being able to find the movie. I started to wonder that if we were going to go to the mall to have to find it, or where the hell was an employee to help me? No need, as that little angel, so priceless, comes around and goes 'Daddy, I found it!" I thought 'No way', and sure enough, bless her heart, she grabs me by the pinky finger, walks a few steps and bends down and goes 'look! there it is.' Sure enough that was it. Couldn't believe it. So funny. :)

We went to the treehouse McDonalds for some fun there and headed home. She got out her markers and she was on the floor and goes 'daddy, watch.' And she WROTE HER NAME on the paper and I almost fell down. Saying the letters as she is writing them, and did it five times on the sheet of paper. Wow, I was blown away. SO, we then focused the whole weekend on letters. We started writing them on paper and playing and I could tell she didn't want to go to sleep. But by this time it's 930 already, so we played a bit more, I got her calmed down and into bed, a few stories later, and night night. After I saw her write her name, wow, like I said, just blown away. The kid is SO smart and we were doing tracing of the letters and shit like that, identifying them, her writing them, me writing them. It was a LOT of fun and I really got into it as far as teaching her. I had delicate patience and understanding and I think it worked out great. I heaped on the praise thick as she most definitely deserved it. She did so so good and I am proud to say that she walked out of here yesterday knowing how to write a slew of letters she didn't on Friday (E, F, P, R, G), although some are still too hard for her (S, M, N, W). Bless her heart, so proud of her. I love her SO much.

Gina's birthday party was a smashing success. Julia and I had such a good time. It was at a nature preserve/zoo called Oatland Island, close to home. I never been there before but Julia said she was with her school. Well the party was great but the owners know Gina, thats why the party was there, and they took us on a tour to see some of the animals. So me and Julia rode shotgun in a 4wheeler, which she LOVED. We saw panthers (and they were huge), cranes, and Julia's favorite, the bear. They fed them and gave them water and she (and I) were just enthralled by the whole ordeal. Man, they even got damn buffalos there! Tanya and I have already spoken about the four of us going so we can go during the day and see all the animals they have. It was a great party, Julia had cake and soda so she was all fired up, me and her danced, we snuck into the library, Gina loved her present and Julia loved giving it to her -- and bless Gina's heart, she noticed and mentioned that Julia wrote Ginar's name on the card (I showed her how). We left about 8:30 and the kid was so sugared up from the party that she didn't go to sleep until after 10. More letters and she was just screaming while she was talking! Hysterical! Yeah, she didnt have too good of a night, but hey, it's all in good fun.

OK, back to work. I'll finish this later. More to tell.

I'm back. :)

Sunday we had a good morning and did more letters and played and also tried to clean up the house a bit, although that was more daddy than Julia :) She told me -- and even told her grandma on the phone -- that she 'didn't want to go back to Mommy's house, she wanted to stay at Peanut's house'. Breaks my heart. I took her back and it just sucks watching her go away, ya know?

I went to watch the Eagles game afterwards, and they won although they didn't look too good in doing so. I then had a cookout afterwards and Tina, Ali and Ginar came over and Carl and his wife and family stopped by as well. Things went well and I had a lot of fun and deserved to blow off some steam on Sunday after having the Mouse all weekend. :)

Not much else going on. I just had a great weekend with the kid. I got my tickets in the mail for the hockey game today, work wasn't too bad, and I'm gonna pick up the Mouse from ballet in about an hour. Tonight, I'll hit the gym and probably tan as it is fading, come back and eat, shower, and pretty much call it a night. I'm pretty tired and still kinda nauseous but we'll see.

Have a good night everyone. :)

Julia

Great parent moment: Julia wrote her name in front of me for the first time last night. She did it perfectly and it damn near brought me to tears. I'll never forget it. I told her how proud I was of her and how she's such a smart girl. And the way she was looking at me was priceless...

We're off to Gina's birthday party soon - and I got the Aladdian DVD! Actually, Julia found it!

Update more later! :)

Ramblings!

I don't know if it's from these damn meds or from the many Hornsby's ciders I had last night, but I have been nauseous all day. I could see it being either of them as it's my first day taking these crummy anti-depressents. Ugh, not a good feeling.

So I come home for lunch from work and putz around here, eat, clean a bit and get ready to head back. So I walk outside and well would ya know it Tina is sitting right next to my car. She was on the phone with Ali J, who it was great to talk to. I miss that girl and told her so, although she beat me to it. She told me she is doing well and there is a chance that she and the kids might come in for Christmas as her relationship with her exhusband has really improved. I'd love to see her and get to hang although she said the trip would be short. Tina of course lit up at the thought as that's her best friend.

Oh, and Tina looked very sexy sitting there in the sun with the tight white top and long blonde hair. :)

My friend Brad is giving me bigtime shit because he thinks I should go after the black girl from the laundromat. Hmmmmm.....

Got the tickets for the hockey game today, great seats. Should be fun, I can't wait to see the Bums. And wow would I like to pound her that night.

OK, time to go pick up Julia and we are off shopping and to the treehouse McDonalds. :)

A secret flame burning? ;)

Happy Friday to one and all!

Ego booster ahead!

So I hung out with Tina and Ali G. last night and had a lot of fun. We're sitting around talking and Tina starts talking about one of the guys she used to date. How she didn't like him and pretty much how she wanted him to go away. Ali goes "Oh, is that the guy who thought you were in love with Ed (me)?" I was stunned. I look at Tina, and she goes "I never told you this story before?" I was like "Uh, no!" So she proceeds to tell me that the guy told her that he thought she was in love with me. Wow! And then, she proceeds to tell me that another guy from work thought the same thing! I'm telling you, where there is smoke, there is fire. The three of us talked about sex and uh.... let's just say I think Tina and I would be sexually compatible. We talked about the difference between 'interesting' and 'kinky'. Good stuff. :)

I went to the psychologist yesterday and it went pretty well. I decided to take the stupid meds they want me to. She told me that I don't have to be on it all that long because I told her how concerned I was about being on it long-term. The session went well and she told me that I do have a lot of positive things going on in my life. Surprisingly, she focused alot on how I took the burden of my brother's illness and was the rock for my mom and my dad when they found out, and that can wear down a personal emotionally, which it did. A few months later, and continuing to go through an long-distance emotionally draining relationship (with nothing really concrete to work with), I was never really healed. Factor that in with a broken heart, the ex-wife getting married, and Brad's wife leaving him (she said this was a big one as all those old not-so-good feelings/memories were brought back up again), and that all adds up to having anxiety issues/depression. She made perfect sense. So, I am going to give the stupid meds a try and see what happens. I meet with her again the Monday before I go to Tampa, which is like in two weeks. Like I said, I'm really not that bad, it's just sometimes when I start thinking about the sadness, it just becomes overwhelming sometimes. Anyway, I like her and think she can help me.

I'm excited about my weekend with Julia! Big plans tonight to go to ToysRUs and the McDonalds treehouse. And tomorrow is Gina's birthday party which should be a lot of fun. I really hope I can find the movie Aladdin for her.

I just watched The Office from last night and it was great! Take a chance on me! I popped huge for that.

Perhaps I don't give myself enough credit sometimes. The girl at the laundrymat was hitting on me hard and I could tell that she liked this ol white boy :) Black girls just aren't just my cup of tea (although I must say she was quite cute and I loved that purple lipstick), but very flattering nonetheless. Hmmmm......

I think I'm becoming more and more happy with my physical appearance, and perhaps that gives me more self-confidence and esteem, and therefore being able to communicate better.

One thing at a time today, everything nice, smooth and slow.

Marilyn and I are going to go to the Bums game together. She asked me for some money for the furniture; I'll give her some. Going over it in my mind, I think I have a pretty good idea on how the weekend will work out in regards to her. This whole ordeal is not good for me emotionally at all, and I don't need to talk to her on a daily/weekly basis so she can tell me about all the nights she is going out and places she is going with these douches. I really don't want to here it, and I really don't care. Grow up already, will ya? She's at a very pivotal point in her life and doesn't even realize it. Will she end up more like say Tina or will she end up more like Kirsten? I could actually envision both. Time will tell!

I think that's about it! Hope you all have a great day!! :)

A day off.

Time to catch you up.

I took the day off today. I just didn't feel like going to work. It's good that I didn't go too, as I got a call from the psychologist's office and they had a cancellation so I am set to go there today at 3.

I went to the doctor yesterday, my PCP. She referred me to the above psychologist. She wants me to take some anti-depressents, although I am really not sure. It's a long commitment - 6 months to a year -- and there are sexual side effects. I really don't think I need to go that far. I just need a little pick me up, as my good days are good, but sometimes I just feel sad, ya know? She told me that yes, my anxiety and sadness is caused by a number of reasons, alot of changes going on. She's pretty nice and I'll see what this psychologist has to say today and make the anti-depressant decision from there.

I'm watching Ric Flair and Terry Funk beat the shit out of each other at Clash of the Champions IX from Troy, NY, in their infamous 'I Quit' match. Good stuff.

Oh -- good news! My dad got a transfer! He was really hating the position he was in and got the word yesterday he is getting moved out of it, and he is guaranteed to be in this better position for at least a year. The bonus on top of that is all the overtime he could handle! I am so happy for him and my mom as that will make my dad happier and more money coming in. Bless my parents heart, I love them so much and worry about them alot. They both go through so much and I actually sometimes feel guilty when I dump on them about my problems.

How bout those Bums? 8 goals last night! Like I said, they're going to be better than a lot of people thought, I guarantee it. There's a lot of talent there.

Let's see, what else is going on? Saturday is Gina's birthday party so me and Julia are going to toysrus on friday to get her a gift, and then to the treehouse McDonalds .... Marilyn emailed me, asking me if I got her previous email (which I did not (in other words, she didn't send it) and told me she would still like to go to the game with me if I so choose. I think I am going to take her to the game, as I'd like to fuck her so fucking hard one last time, to give her something to remember when I'm gone .... I'm actually thinking about asking Tina about my website. I don't know how it would go over so I'm being cautious and really thinking about that one .... I talked to TerriiLynn last night. Geez, she really shows an interest in me, I think it turns her on that I am older ;) She asked me about my trip again, and I told her that Thursday is the Bums game and Friday is the big Halloween party). I'm not going to give her anything concrete as if I head to NPR on Saturday to hang with Roy and Ric, then chances are I am going to see her anyway .... tanning and working out are on my list for this evening after doing wash and cleaning this morning.....

I hope you all have a good day :)

Me and the Mouse

It was so good to see my best friend! Seeing Julia always makes me feel better. I picked her up from school and we came here, put our bathing suits on and headed to the beach! It was beautiful outside today and I figured I could use some sunshine, plus I knew she would have a blast. We went to McDonalds first - "through the Drive Thru daddy!" - and I got her a happy meal with fries and of course chocolate milk and cut it up for her in the car. She ate and drank on the way over and we got a good spot close to the water, which was high. She dug and got messy in the sand and we played and ran and just had a blast. She told me on the way home that she 'didn't wanna go to mommy's new house, I wanna go to Peanut's house". Wow, that just filled my heart. I told her all about the weekend we have planned (friday to the mall for ginger's birthday gift, saturday ginger's party). So, she goes "No, Dad, I wanna go to ToysRUs instead." And it kinda surprised me. So I asked her 'Why?" And she goes, bless her heart, "because then, after ToysRUs, we can go to the treehouse McDonalds! Is THAT a good idea?" LOL! I popped so hard for it, because it was totally her idea, and she remembered. Actually put one over on me. (The McDonalds with the treehouse is by both the toysrus and the mall.) So, I told her it really was a good idea so after toysrus (I'm going to look for the movie Aladdian for Ginger as she mentioned something about it this weekend), I'll take the little Peanut to McDonalds. The TREEHOUSE McDonalds! :)

She really brightened my day but damn does it suck to see her go. I watched her run into the house the last few steps and she was like "Justin! Justin!" (my ex-wife's new husband. Oh did I mention they also moved as well? I wonder if they did it both in the same weekend..... Anyway, their place is nice. Just tough seeing Julia run in there yelling his name, ya know?

I made a doctor's appointment today. My old doc retired so I am meeting with a new one for a general checkup and some of my anxious issues. I had a REAL tough day today emotionally, actually left work early as I couldn't stand it. I broke down just fucking sobbing on the side of the road, couldn't stop. I called my mom and told her that I needed help and she told me to 'get my dupa' to the doctor. I was literally a few feet away so I did. I was a fucking mess and I guess it showed because my appt is tomorrow at 9:30am. I'm just gonna shoot with her. It's obvious that I am having some kind of breakdown upstairs recently and well it's probably reflected here. I feel I need something not so much to level me out, but to bring up the downs. I don't know. We'll see tomorrow. I'm glad I am going.

I haven't heard from Marilyn in any way, shape or form since Saturday. And although Saturday and today were the shits, I've had a couple of good days in there. I know the potential is there, I just need help with well, being sad. I told my mom today that there alot of changes I am trying to digest, but none of those changes are physical ones, ones that you can see. It's a broken heart (and realizing it's not going to be), it's my ex-wife getting married, it's Brad and his wife leaving him (as that just brought back a lot of bad memories), it's just changes. Everything physically has stayed the same, my physical environment so to speak, it's just a lot of changes in my mind. Big difference.

My mom told me that I need to start focusing on the more positive things going on, and she's right. I got a big raise, I am the best dad I know, I'm looking better (sort of), my daughter adores me, I have a few good other relationships/friends, and that is stuff I should be proud of, and things I should be building off of. I really think that the doctor and science can give me that boost to focus more on those positive things. I guess I know what I want, and want it quickly. Patience, my worst attribute. Although I must say I've gotten a lot better. Being a single dad will do that to you! :)

I've rambled on long enough. Tomorrow is another day, and will be a better one. Good night all.

Sad.

You don't get over a broken heart in a day.

"If you want it, come and get it, for crying out loud. The love that I was giving you was never in doubt. Let go your heart, let go your head. And feel it now. Babylon."

Feelin' good!

I feel pretty damn good today! Taking things one thing at a time here at work, had a great conversation with Maggie (cutie), and just talked to my Grandma. Feeling good, looking tan and sexy, and am in a pretty good mood for the first time in about a week! I am determined to not let work (or anything else) get me down today! And I see my Julia in like 5 hours! Can't wait!

Have a great day everyone! :)

Feeling better :)

Well I headed out for a few hours and got some shit done (the fuckin dry cleaners? are you kidding me? 42.00!) and then headed over to my friend Jon's house to watch the Red Sox playoff game. Had a good time and it was good to get out.

I sang my ass off on the way home! A perfect match of a few beers and the right amount of cigarettes puts me right on key! "Doctor My Eyes" and "This Love" were the selections of the ride home.

I miss Julia so much and cannot wait to see her tomorrow. My rough week/end was made even worse I haven't seen the kid in a week, and I cannot remember the last time it's been that long while she was still here. Probably since I moved here, never. I miss her! :(

I've come to the realization that I thought about Marilyn WAYYYY too much this past weekend, and halfheartedly, with good reason. Alot of reflection and drunken deep thought and I have come to the realization that I know I need to severe lines of communication with her, although I think I am going to wait to see her person to do that. I wanna look her in the eye when I do it. I have to do it for myself because well, it's just not healthy for me all around. I'm just heartbroken. I can't worry about what she is doing, who she is doing, how she is partying. Besides, that's not what I want right now anyway. She's not ready. She's not ready for the life I want -- in many, many ways -- and I don't know if she ever will be. I'm just so physically attracted to her sometimes I just ignore those facts. I LOVE her, but christ, sometimes I wonder why I do. If she ever, well, grows up, was actually divorced, didn't need so much attention from others (men) and didn't party so much, oh - and also learn how to treat a significant other - then well, ya never know. But in rereading that last sentence, I mean, Jesus, lol, it's downright laughable. Do I honestly expect her to change all of that? Sheesh! Christ, though, it breaks my heart. It really does. Her and I could have a wonderful amazing life. But I realize that I am NEVER going to be able to move on if I don't do this. A kinda "Look me up a few years down the road" kinda break-up, to see, well, if any of the above changes have actually taken place. No need really though, as someone with money who parties will sweep her off her feet. She'll become a parent and the dude will keep on partying hard, bolt, find someone else, playing playstation (lol), and/or her life will be miserable with this clown someway. He'll probably will be able to make her cum (and that will seal the deal right there, as I am the only one she can cum with, hence, why she keeps me around). Once she finds the money / partying / cumming combo (hell, you can even add swinging in there because that'll feed her need for other men), then I'll be just a memory. Then it'll all turn to shit, someway, somehow, and then that'll be that. That big, incredibly huge bag of karma that's hanging over her head will finally explode. It'll hit her like a ton of bricks one day when she's a single mom or in a terrible worthless loveless marriage and think of what her and I had. And by that time, I'll be long gone. She'll realize how bad she fucked up. And she'll think about it often. Like Wendy. Oh well. Her loss.

This love HAS taken it's toll on me, she's said goodbye too many times before.

Yuck.

Yesterday, lol, well it wasn't too good of a day. My exwife got married and I was just overcome by sadness. Not really because of her, but because of me. I am feeling very alone recently.

I got shitfaced literally all day yesterday. I woke up and drank a bottle of wine, at like 8 oclock in the morning. Then, I drank another one. I passed out for a few hours and then woke up and started slamming beers, watching the games. Since I 'slept' during the day, I was up until 4 oclock last night. I went out for about an hour but really just didn't feel like being anywhere, so I left right after I heard 'You'll Accompany Me' by Bob Seger. It wasn't all that bad, though, as after I got home I saw a two-hour season finale of The Amazing Race, which was great. I love that show.

And, to top it off, the Phillies got eliminated last night. Sure, it sucks, I thought they would do better, but I am proud of them. They are, and always will be, the 2007 National League East Champions. They played very poorly and their bats were completely dead, and I think they blew their load chasing and eventually catching the Mets.

The Flyers blew one last night but played pretty well. Fuckin Daniel Briere, that kid is tremendous. I think they are gonna be a lot better than people think.

Today, well, I'm gonna stay sober. I just felt like I needed a complete day of drinking to, well, I don't know. I thought alot about these past four years, thought alot about Marilyn. I am still so heartbroken, I really am. I've never felt like this before, I honestly can't believe how sad I feel. She actually texted me yesterday to check up on me. I really couldn't believe it.

I'm cleaning my room real good and going to clean the downstairs in a few hours. I'll run and get some smokes and have been importing some CDs I've had laying around. I'll do some wash and some dishes too, if I feel like it.

Tina and I had a great time on Friday. Her and I have a lot in common and we stayed up late drinking beer outside till like one in the morning. I looked great and felt pretty good about myself for the first time in a while. I'm glad we went out and I had a lot of fun, and it was good to keep my mind off of other things for a while. She saw me yesterday and gave me a pack of smokes so I wouldn't have to drive anywhere, which was probably stupid of me to even comprehend.

I'm really thinking about getting motivated to start that website I've been thinking about.

I miss my kid and I cannot WAIT to see her tomorrow when I pick her up after ballet! I cannot wait!

OK, I'm off. Have a good day everyone. :)

The Bums!

'The Bums' is a nickname (coined by my father) for my hockey team, the Philadelphia Flyers. We started our season last night up in Calgary and I was very, VERY impressed. A 3-2 victory with the new guy Daniel Briere with two goals, including the game-winner with under 3 minutes. Man, this little guy can outright FLY. He is so fucking fast! The team played real well, and there's a lot of talent there. Sure there are things they need to work on, but I was pleasently surprised with their play last night and hope they keep it up! Next stop: Edmonton on Saturday night! I'll be watching! Go Bums!

I thought the Office was great last night. I drove my car into a fucking lake! Steve Carrell is pure gold, he really is. And I just love the Pam and Jim storyline, although I thought the writers may have made it 'public' a little too soon. They could have milked that for a while. The part where she disses Ryan by telling her that she was dating Jim was perfectly done. Pam and I would get along great if we worked together -- after all, I DO have a penchant for secretaries! (Right TerriLynn? Marilyn? Casey?)

Hey speaking of Casey, you told me to email you, I did, so email me back why don't ya? I HATE being dissed like that! Geez!

I'm disappointed in the Phils but the Bums winning last night helped me out there. I stayed up late to watch the whole game and glad I did. I'm in a great mood today, have a date tonight, and am feeling much much better. I hope it is a kickass day and I hope work doesn't ruin my good mood, which I am sure it will.

I bring to you now perhaps the greatest music video of all time. Karate Kid fans, take note. It's called "Sweep the Leg" by No More Kings, and as you view it, just know that all of the people in this video are the original actors from the movie. And yes, you read that correctly. Enjoy!

Phils :(

The Phils got their asses kicked today in game 2, 10-5. Oh, I am so disappointed in them. On the road now to Colorado trying to save the season. Need to win three in a row to advance, but need to win one just to stay alive. I said this to my friend Carl, no matter what happens (and this isn't typical Philly fan), I am proud of them. I will gladly wear my 2007 National League East Champions shirt with pride. Go Phils!

Julia went to school today and I got a chance to talk to her briefly. I'm really glad she is feeling better. She got on the phone and said 'PEEEEEEANUT!" Bless her pure, angelic little heart. I really missed her this week. I won't see her until Monday. :(

I talked to Tina and we are going tomorrow to Aldo's for dinner and then Brittania afterwards for drinks. I'm looking forward to it. Going to try and look my best :)

The Office is on tonight! Yes! Lori emailed me today asking where my 'Office Preview' was. What a cutie she is! She has such a pretty smile. She's been telling me all the problems she has been having with her roommate and how bizarre she is. Weird, wild stuff!

Pat Sajak would absolutely fucking destroy Alex Trebek in a knife fight.

If I ever have another child, and it's a girl, I'm going to name her Veronica. I love that name, and I love that song.

I sent Paul from the Philadelphia Daily News my 'Alone' article, which appears below. He absolutely loved it and told me that it was very well-written :)

I don't listen to modern music, at all. In fact, I pretty much hate anything on modern radio. I'm pretty set in my musical ways :) That being said, James Blunt is probably the best modern musician I have heard in a long time. I don't know, this guy's lyrics, the melodies, the beautiful piano, they really get to me. "You're Beautiful" is simply amazing, "Goodbye My Lover" makes me cry (thanks, Marilyn), and the song below might just be ... perfect.

Damn!

Damn am I not in a good mood today! :(

The Phils lost yesterday and really didn't play very well at all. Poor Utley went 0-4 with 4Ks. They NEED to win today with Kendrick on the mound to have any chance because if they get behind 0-2 going to Colorado, they're fucked. GO PHILS!

The Flyers start tonight as well, on the road in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. I'll talk more about hockey as the season progresses but I am glad to have it back although I must say that my enthusiasm for it really isn't that high. Maybe I'm still riding the Phillies emotional wave.

I'm still sick, but feeling better today. I talked to my ex-wife yesterday (more on her later) and Julia is feeling better but she has an ear infection now too. I am waiting to here from her if Julia went to school today. Usually on Thursdays when I don't have her for the weekend, Julia stays over and I take her to school on Friday. I absolutely adore having her over, and especially love the idea of getting her ready and taking her to school. Makes me feel so proud. Well, not today. With me being sick, I don't want to get the kid sick again for this weekend. So, not Julia for me today and tonight. :( I will call her later though.

What's this weekend you ask? Well, my exwife is getting married. Yep. I really don't know how I feel about it. I mean, I am glad for her and all I hope it works out and yadda yadda yadda, but I guess I feel pretty sad. Not because of her, I guess because of me. I really have made no headway as far as a long-term relationship goes, especially since I have blown so much time on Marilyn. Christ, I really thought that was the one. Guess not. My exwife is getting married and is gonna be happy, and I'm so completely worse off (in the relationship department) it's not even funny. Bitter a bit? Yeah, probably. I just thought that Marilyn and I would be together for a very long time, and it's hard realizing that it's just not going to happen. I am trying to move on, I really am, but goddamn, when you have your heart smashed into a million pieces, hey, sometimes it's takes a while to pick them all up.

It's been raining here for the past two days. Hard. Sunshine, where are you?

I feel like getting really really drunk.

Alone.

I wrote this about the Phillies win on Sunday. It's entitled 'Alone'. I feel it's one of the strongest pieces I have ever written. Enjoy.

---------

Alone.

Alone is how I found myself on this past Sunday, a day that could have broken my heart or sent me to the highest levels of jubilation. I really didn't know which, although I couldn't wait to find out.

I've been a Phillies fan my whole life. In the moments leading up to first pitch, my mind is flooded with memories of the Fightin' Phils. I vividly remember banging pots and pans - literally - outside in my front yard when I was eight years old on that glorious day of October 21, 1980. I was there on that cool autumn night in 1993 with my dad and brothers when that lovable team of misfits went to the World Series. My mind is racing, and although my confidence and emotions are usually guarded when it comes to this team, I'm nearly bursting at the seams.

My eyes glance over to the wall where hangs a picture of me and the late John Vukovich, awarding me the 1980 cherry-red championship commemorative bat after he pulled my name out of a big spinning drum at a gas station opening. John's bright, genuine smile matches the eight-year-old's. Twenty-seven years later, I smile right back at him.

The Phillies seem to mirror my life in so many ways. Some failed last-week-of-the-season playoff runs, a failed marriage. Getting oh-so-close again, another oh-so-close relationship. Some bad free agent choices, some bad life choices.

No significant other, some friends I can count on one hand, and I'm still getting adjusted to a new, strangely bizarre town. My reason for being here, my beautiful 4 year-old daughter Julia, is spending the weekend with her mom. I'm countless miles away from home, away from my dad and my two brothers - one sick and one a soldier.

In other words, alone.

The Mets game starts and the overwhelming nervousness already begins to gnaw away at my insides. But then the Marlins start scoring run after run, and my hopes began to rise.

Moyer delivers for strike one and the Bank is electric. There's a seven written in beaming light bulbs on the scoreboard next to the letters 'FLA'. Moments later, Rollins steals two bases with the swiftness of a cheetah, and all of a sudden, the Phils are up 1-0.

Every pitch, every hit, and every run puts us closer to that elusive championship. I call my dad and state "I can feel it! I can FEEL it! Today is our day!"

And as he has done countless times before throughout my life, he quickly puts me in my place.

"Calm down," he says quietly. "You know this team. It's not even close to being over, and they can still blow it. I'm not even thinking of celebrating until that last strike." He knows from experience, and so should I. Usually my armor is up.

But not today.

The game continues and the runs begin to pile up for both the Marlins and the Phils. I can barely contain myself. The joy wants to explode from my body, but yet I keep it in and wait. The soon-to-be MVP's triple nearly sends me into orbit.

9 outs away.

6 outs away.

I call my dad for the bottom of the ninth. We are a measly three outs away. My brother gets on the other extension, the one with Multiple Sclerosis ravaging his brain and slowly destroying his body. Usually his voice is raspy, soft, weak. But not today. He vibrantly tells me that 'we're gonna do it.'

I believe him.

My other brother, a National Guard soldier living in Vermont, patches into the conversation. He's not watching because he can't - no one in the area is carrying it. I offer to do play-by-play for what I hope to be the final out.

I'm talking so loud I am sure the neighbors from India next door can hear me through the paper-thin walls, thinking that some sort of crime is taking place. Meanwhile, The Bank is going berserk, and so am I. I hear the voice and feel the spirit of Harry Kalas running through me as the count goes to two strikes. I glance at that picture on the wall again.

Myers delivers a perfect deuce and the moment has finally arrived.

And with as much strength and pride I could muster, clenching my fist so tightly in the air, I scream into the phone - and to the world - that the Philadelphia Phillies are champions of the National League East.

The next few minutes are a blur. I remember a lot of screaming and hollering, and I recall jumping up and down a dozen or so times. A quick peek at my blue and yellow-tainted elbow now reminds me that I bashed it on the armoire during my jubilant, child-like festivities, which at the time, naturally, didn't register.

My heart is beating through my chest as I watch the celebration that I so desperately wanted unfold in front of me live on TV. I honestly cannot believe what I am seeing.

And then it happens.

My dad, choking back tears, tells all of his three sons how proud he is of this team, and how proud he is of us. He told us that he rooted so hard for this team, because it reminds him of his three sons. That no matter how far the Fightins got behind, how bleak the future looked, he never lost faith. Just like he never lost faith in us when we were dealt with an emotionally crippling divorce, a devastating life-threatening sickness, and the possibility of the horrors of Iraq. How that no matter what obstacles were put in their way, this team survived, just like his boys. He told us that we are the true Fightins, and that we will always be Fightins to the very end, just like the freshly-crowned champions of the National League East.

And it was at that very moment that the floodgates of emotion burst wide open. The dam of my body couldn't contain them for another second.

I cried.

And kept on crying. We all did. Sobbing, openly. I couldn't stop. Tears of joy, tears of pain, tears of pride.

So happy. So proud. Proud of my team and what they accomplished. Proud of my family. Proud of myself. Today really was our day.

Alone? Not today.

Not today.

Damn cold...

Yeah, I caught the kiddo's cold. No fun. Plus it's raining outside and actually kinda cool.

Random thoughts:

I still can't believe Steve Downie got twenty fucking games. What a bunch of shit. Hey McCammond ya fucking pussy, keep your head up next time.

I talked to TerriLynn last night, she called me. Nice to hear from her. She actually seems genuinely interested in me, and told me she thinks I am ' very sexy daddy'. :) It was really really nice to hear that from someone who actually means it. She told me she's never been fucked like that before, so of course that was a great ego stroke. She started talking about that and said "mmmm, that was soooooo good!" Awesome! :) She's a great kid and all and sexy (that long curly black hair and that nice tight body, yum), but like I said, I'm looking for something more than a 300-mile-away lay. I guess I should be happy with banging a hot 24 year old, huh? Anyway, I haven't decided if I will see her on my next trip to Tampa, which is like in three weeks, but I'm leaning that way. She said she really wants to see me. If I decide to, I'll probably end up there on my way back, whether that be Friday or Saturday. I'm just playing it by ear. Figures: I meet someone who is interested in me and she's 300 miles away. Where is the one that is 3 miles, huh?

Ya know, I was thinking that I thank God no one of importance in my life knows this blog exists. No one. None of my friends, and of course none of the people that get addressed here on a regular basis. I like it that way. It allows me to be free with my thoughts and emotions. I don't have to hide anything from you people. So thanks for your support. :) Oh -- and one more thing. I know I curse alot on here and my language is pretty bad, and I'm like that in real life too. But rest assured -- I NEVER curse or say anything remotely bad around my daughter. I guess I get all my cursing out here and when she isn't around. :)

Marilyn texts me last night and tells me how these gay guys are 'fighting over her', whatever the fuck that means. I didn't even reply. Like I said, that girl will never be happy with just the attention of one man, and that's going to hurt her down the road. She's an attention slut and needs to be that center of attention to fulfill her tremendous lack of self esteem. Pretty shallow and sad, really.

The Phillies start tomorrow and I am psyched! Colorado must PAY! Go Phils!

I spent 18 minutes in the Burger King drivethru today. 18! Seriously? What the fuck? BUT, they brought back the Italian Chicken Sandwiches so YES! I love them!

OK, time to get back to work. Well, not really.

Phillies!

Wow, what a weekend!

The Phillies won the National League East on the last day of the season yesterday, and I couldn't be more thrilled. It's been a long time coming I tell ya! 14 years! I got to spend the 9th inning on the phone with my dad and two brothers and it was actually surreal. After they won we were all screaming and cheering and then the celebration started. My dad told me how proud he was of us, how his sons remind him of this team because they fight and claw and scratch for everything -- and they get what they want. I broke down and just started crying, and cried so fucking hard. It was a good release of a lot of emotion in regards to alot of a different things. Anyway, the Phils start on Wednesday at 3 oclock and I cannot wait. I've been collecting the articles and pictures and am going to print them out and put them in a nice little binder. Yep, Phillies fever something fierce!

Julia and I had a great weekend - although my ex-wife called to tell me she is sick today. Pinkeye. And a cold. Poor kid! We went to the highschool football game on Friday night with Tina and Gina, and Saturday we went to watch the PSU game with Lori and Mary. Wow, did Mary look cute with her hair in pigtails! Anyway, Julia and I just had so much fun but on Saturday, wow, she had so much energy. I still can't believe she is sick ;)

Sometimes I am an ass because I talked to Marilyn quite a bit this weekend. We actually got each other off over the phone. I know, I know. She just loves me for my big dick. We talked about well, alot of things, and she actually told me that one of the main reasons we aren't together is that she 'doesn't like Savannah'. Can you believe that? Doesn't like it. I almost shit. And then, to top it off, she goes "besides, I'd only make half the money there I'm making now anyway'. Unbelievable and incredibly shallow. It seems we want the same things out of life, love each other, yadda yadda yadda, but it's the location. I honestly think it's just an excuse, a reason, whatever, to not have to commit and/or end this. She loves me, but not really. She does, but she doesn't. Not the way I love her anyway. I told her that she is making a big mistake, and that we'll both probably end up regretting it for a long time. She SEEMS to be calming down in terms of partying but who the hell knows. Sometimes I feel like I'm just an option for her, Just an option. Wow, that's even sad to write. She is the biggest attention slut I have ever known. If I ever find that special someone not named Marilyn, I'll never speak to Marilyn again. Because I am only asking for trouble as she knows how I feel about her. If she truly wants me, TRULY, she'll have to show me. I highly doubt that will happen. And it's kinda difficult to find someone new when you're hung up on the emotions of someone else, huh? I know, what a douche I am. Sigh.

A League Of Their Own is on and it's one of my favorite movies. Tom Hanks is great in this. WHO'S LOU?! And of course, 'Stop thinking with your tits, you want a big inning here.' :) Madonna is pretty good in it too.

All right, I'm outta here. The Flyers start Thursday night and the Phils in the playoffs start Wednesday. Should be a kickass sports week. As far as the weekend goes, Tina and I are going out to Aldo's on Friday and probably over to Brittania afterwards, and Saturday is my exwife's wedding so I'll probably stay home and drink myself in a lonesome tizzy. :)

Go Phils!