Yesterday, lol, well it wasn't too good of a day. My exwife got married and I was just overcome by sadness. Not really because of her, but because of me. I am feeling very alone recently.
I got shitfaced literally all day yesterday. I woke up and drank a bottle of wine, at like 8 oclock in the morning. Then, I drank another one. I passed out for a few hours and then woke up and started slamming beers, watching the games. Since I 'slept' during the day, I was up until 4 oclock last night. I went out for about an hour but really just didn't feel like being anywhere, so I left right after I heard 'You'll Accompany Me' by Bob Seger. It wasn't all that bad, though, as after I got home I saw a two-hour season finale of The Amazing Race, which was great. I love that show.
And, to top it off, the Phillies got eliminated last night. Sure, it sucks, I thought they would do better, but I am proud of them. They are, and always will be, the 2007 National League East Champions. They played very poorly and their bats were completely dead, and I think they blew their load chasing and eventually catching the Mets.
The Flyers blew one last night but played pretty well. Fuckin Daniel Briere, that kid is tremendous. I think they are gonna be a lot better than people think.
Today, well, I'm gonna stay sober. I just felt like I needed a complete day of drinking to, well, I don't know. I thought alot about these past four years, thought alot about Marilyn. I am still so heartbroken, I really am. I've never felt like this before, I honestly can't believe how sad I feel. She actually texted me yesterday to check up on me. I really couldn't believe it.
I'm cleaning my room real good and going to clean the downstairs in a few hours. I'll run and get some smokes and have been importing some CDs I've had laying around. I'll do some wash and some dishes too, if I feel like it.
Tina and I had a great time on Friday. Her and I have a lot in common and we stayed up late drinking beer outside till like one in the morning. I looked great and felt pretty good about myself for the first time in a while. I'm glad we went out and I had a lot of fun, and it was good to keep my mind off of other things for a while. She saw me yesterday and gave me a pack of smokes so I wouldn't have to drive anywhere, which was probably stupid of me to even comprehend.
I'm really thinking about getting motivated to start that website I've been thinking about.
I miss my kid and I cannot WAIT to see her tomorrow when I pick her up after ballet! I cannot wait!
OK, I'm off. Have a good day everyone. :)
