What's up everyone? Been a few weeks, time to catch you all up.
Not too shabby on this end, not to shabby at all. I scored a major website project which I have been working on for the past week or so and it will help me out financially to say the least. Looking to meet with the guy again this week and I must say, the site has turned out pretty good so far. It's a local music hall, and I am going to play there someday.
Yep, started the piano. Little by little, here and there, although time recently has been tough. I have been working on 'Drops of Jupiter' and I must say, it's coming along pretty good. I can do this, I know I can! I also got a Beatles Fake Book which is cool, and I am really enjoying myself. I've been trying to practice every day (along with working out just a bit) and kinda settling into a everyday schedule. I'm proud of myself!
St. Patrick's Day was a total blast. Woke up at 4:30 and was at Lori and Mary's house at 5:10. Headed downtown and was there by 6, all ready to go. Had a good solid drunk throughout the morning and just had a really good time. Good to blow off some steam like that and got some great pictures. Mary and I make such a cute couple and we had a lot of fun. There's definitely something there I tell ya.....
Vicky and I have been getting a long fine and in fact just last week I probably had one of, if not the best, sexual experiences of my life with her. Yeah, really kinky and just delicious. But see, I don't know, I know I mentioned that I couldn't put my finger on it, I guess there is just no spark there on my part. I am trying, I really am, but I just can't force it. I like hanging out with her (for the most part), but then again, sometimes I don't. She told me she is having feelings for me and I told her to slow down because well, I am not. I just don't see this lasting much longer, although she is a great person and brings a lot of positive characteristics to a long-term relationship. I'm just not interested though, I guess. We'll see.
I'm headed to Vegas and I cannot fucking wait. May 1st. Me and my friend Brian are going, and I am meeting my old friend Ali and her hot friends out there who live in Seattle. Brian hooked us up with one of his hot girls Heather who is going to put us up for one night. She works at Hooters. Enough said. It should be an AMAZING trip and I am very looking forward to it.
Been spending a lot of time with Tina this past week. She invited me over on Sunday for a BBQ and we hung out Saturday night. Interesting.
I haven't heard much from the 19 year old Jennifer. Hot as balls she is though I must say. I will see her tomorrow though when I pick Julia up. She's HOT.
The Philadelphia Flyers piss me off so goddamn bad.
Marilyn and I still talk over the IM and I sent her a photo album a few weeks ago with all our old pictures and photocopies of her notes. I really enjoyed putting it together and I think she really dug it, I hope it moved her. I wrote a nice long letter to her as well, which turned out good. There is no chance of anything there as she has made her decisions, and I really don't know why I sent her the album, I guess just to show her a) what she is missing out upon, and b) what she'll never have or feel with her new boyfriend. She actually stated in one of her conversations that she was 'crying herself to sleep one night'. Yikes. Yeah, excellent choices you made there Marilyn. Good luck with alllllllllllll that.
Speaking of Marilyn, we're going to have lunch on Friday as I am headed to Tampa for Spring Training. I look forward to hanging out with my friend Brad and seeing how things are going with him. Should be a lot of fun. And of course my interaction with Marilyn will be interesting. Truth be told, I want to fuck her. We shall see.
Julia is doing so good. We had such a good weekend as we went to Home Depot and bought and shitload of flowers and came home and planted them. Lots of fun and some great pictures I got. She is growing up and alot of fun to be around but I must admit that she is starting to get friends in the neighborhood and wants to spend time with them when she comes to my house. Make me jealous a bit and kinda sad as she is growing up and am entering a different phase in her life. I am so very proud of what I accomplished with her so far as she is turning into a wonderful little girl. We have a great summer planned and the baseball games start up in about 3 weeks and I cannot wait.
Hmmmmm.....is that it? It just might be. Lost better pick it up, lemme tell ya! We need some action!
A telling quote you ask? How about this:
Love lasts when the relationship comes first.
Wow, I REALLY like that.
Stay healthy, everyone.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Been a while. Again!
Well hello everyone. Geez. Been quite a few weeks since my last post, again. I guess things are kinda going well because after reading many of my posts in this blog, it seems like I like to use this as a reflection for when things are going not so good. Hopefully, future posts won't reflect that. Anyway, it's time to catch you all up.
Things are going well, I must admit. I'm pretty happy in general and I really don't have much to complain about. Julia is doing so well, in fact, she is here with me right now, coloring. She just gave me a rock, lol! She is turning into such a fine little girl, so bright and smart and well-behaved. She loves to read and dance and play 'teacher' (kinda like her old man did when he was a little boy!). I cannot believe she starts kindergarten in just a few short months and I have confirmed that she is going to go to an excellent school right here on the Island. I so enjoy watching her grow up, playing with her, and teaching her things. I gotta say that kid is awesome at 'Memory'! I am looking forward to a wonderful summer with her: going to the beach, the pool, the playground, and being able to play outside a lot more. It's been quite cool here recently but I know it will warm up soon, and then people will be bitching about how hot it is.
I am thinking of flying my mom down for a weekend. I know she misses Julia so much, and I miss her as well.
Since I have confirmed Julia will be going to a public school, one of my main things to do is to try again to get my child support payment reduced. I spend entirely too much time with Julia to allow the huge payment I continue to pay. It's simply not fair. And I am actually thinking of asking my ex-wife if Julia could stay here overnight even more, I am thinking every Tuesday night. I don't know if it will work as far as my work schedule goes, but we shall see. The way it works now is as follows: Julia stays here overnight 3 out of 14 days. I see her, in one form or another, 9 out of those 14 days, whether it be picking her up from school and hanging out with her for 4 hours on Tuesdays, picking her up from ballet, etc). If she stays on Tuesdays, that would bump it to 5 out of 14 and 11 out of 14 days. I think that looks pretty good, and I gotta tell ya, sometimes I just miss the shit out of her. So hopefully everything will work out.
I've been quite motivated and I need to make some changes in my life. I want to quit smoking, start working out again, start a Lost blog, and learn to play the piano. I think I could become a pretty good piano player and singer. There are so many good songs I would learn to love to play. Nevertheless, it would be a whole helluva lot of fun to try!
I am fullforce into the dating scene, and am really enjoying myself. I am currently dating a very nice woman named Vicky. She works where I work, but just in a different department. I really dig her, I really do. She treats me so amazingly and really digs me and puts me over all the time, which is so nice. She thinks I am the sexiest thing walking! She even surprised me the other day by taking me to a day spa which was really cool! She's smart as fuck, naughty as all hell, tall and has red hair (another redhead?). Oh yeah, she loves to play dressup (ahem). We've been naughty quite a few times, and this girl has been so hot for me that sometimes she has come over BEFORE work to get it on. Wow! Anyway, I've been pretty honest with her in terms of well, everything, and I think it's really worked out for my benefit. There really is no need to hide anything and I don't, in regards to what I am into sexually, my past relationships, everything. I do believe there is some long-term potential there as she has many qualities that I do like, but I don't know, I just can't put my finger on it on what is holding me back. Time will tell, but I must admit, that I really like going slow.
Quick story: so last weekend I go over to Vicky's house in the morning and arrive there, and she is ready to go dressed as my blue vinyl princess (so hot, amazing in fact). So we have amazing naughty sex and it was just awesome. Anyway, afterwards, we decide to go and get something to eat. We're both all disshelved and literally STINKING of sex. She's lookin all post-fucked and sexy, and I swear it was like the gods smiled upon me, as we walk into the restaurant and BANG! There sits my exwife and my exwife's new husband and Julia. Julia comes running over to me and my exwife of course has a look of sheer HORROR on her face. It was brilliant, and of course it was obvious to anyone over the age of 16 what we just finished doing. THEN, to top it off, they are getting ready to leave, and Julia is at our table, so my exwife has to get up, walk over to us, introduce herself to Vicky, and shake her hand. Julia of course doesn't want to go and pitched a fit. Let me tell you my friends, as I sat in that booth, I soaked it all in and I felt like one million dollars and was so happy that fate and/or karma smiled upon me like that. It was beautiful. :)
Vicky, bless her heart, tops it off by saying "Jesus. What is she? 40?" YIKES! Huge pop!
Anyway!
Lori and I kissed. Yes, that Lori. We went out - just the two of us - last weekend and just had a great time. At the end of our fabulous night, we kissed. I really don't know how I feel about her. I mean, I am attracted to her, but again, I don't know if there is any long term potential there. I just don't think she is a naughty girl. I think we both know that we aren't a long-term fit for each other, but I know there is a lot of attraction there on both of our parts. That whole situation is weird, it really is. Plus, I'm also attracted to her roommate Mary. They are both my friends so I really don't want to fuck anything up in regards to that as the three of us are all quite close.
Also: I got the phone number of the girl who works at Julia's school yesterday. She's 19 (!) and just cute and hot and sexy! It looks like we are going to go out next Friday night. This girl ADORES me and gave me four hugs yesterday. Yeah, I must admit, that things are going very well for me on the dating front! It's all about finding that close-to-perfect fit, and I am certainly enjoying myself in my search. I really don't feel all that confident in my appearance, but I don't know, sometimes it more about attitude. If I can combine this confidence/attitude with the way I looked in December, look the fuck out.
Marilyn and I have decided to go our separate ways. We've been chatting over the internet for the past week or two and, really, it's just time to break this off. The conversations have been pretty intense at times, but she has made her own choices and has to live with them. I believe she loves me, but just not enough, ya know? She is actually moving into a house with that hideous boyfriend I told you all about. I simply cannot continue to care for this girl and wonder what she is up to. She wants to have a family and seems happy there but I just don't know as it certainly doesn't seem like it at times. I know she misses me sexually, and to be honest, that's probably about it. I miss her too but I must admit that every single girl I have encountered since Marilyn has treated me a lot better than she has (socially and sexually as well). I love the kid, I really do, but it's just time. I honestly think that she is the love of my life, but I am not hers, and never will be. I also don't think that Paul is the one for her either, judging from past comments she has made, and from also the fact that she was still talking to me. One of the things she did state which struck me was that Paul allows her to be herself and 'doesn't mind' when she sits on 'the bass players lap'. What I neglected to tell her was the fact that if he does care for her like she says he does, then it does effect him. He just doesn't have enough self-esteem to actually bring it up and jeopardize rocking the boat in the relationship he is so desperate for with her. She did the exact same thing with her husband. I, of course, wouldn't put up with it. So, she doesn't understand that she IS hurting him by acting that way, that it makes him feel two inches tall, makes all the other guys think she is easy, and most importantly, it is making him question his trust for her. And that is something she will never have whomever she ends up with: trust. Paul has already been spying on her as, of course, he doesn't trust her. Why should he? She does nothing to solidify that trust, and will probably never learn that. I think she is making a big mistake and told her so, but really, it's not my problem anymore. She is using poor Paul to a) have a boyfriend/not be alone and b) make her financial situation better. She'll wind up settling with him, continue to tell herself that she loves him, and then it will all fall apart, by her having an affair and him finding out. But the poor sap will probably forgive her and continue to let her run him over as she did with her husband. I simply had too much self-esteem to allow something like that to happen. I never trusted her, and why should I? Anyway, like I said, I love the kid, but she has made her own choices. She constantly refers to me as the best dad ever, I come to find out she could have had a job here, and I know I'm the best fuck she ever had. Then seriously, what is keeping her away? Every single girl who I have told this to comes to the same conclusion: she didn't love me. And she didn't. If she truly did, and we were meant to be together, that she would have went to the ends of the Earth for me, like any girl would do for the man they truly love (and many girls have told me this). And that's ok. I learned SO much from this relationship, and we really have nothing left because she told me she 'can't' see me. So there really is nothing left anymore, and I don't want to speak with her so she can tell me about her new house or her boyfriend or partying or whatever. So that is that. I took it a lot better than I thought I did, probably for the fact that I have quite a few others who think the world of me and think that I am the sexiest thing walking.
Adios Marilyn. I'll probably never see you again, so I am wishing you well in whatever you want out of life. I know you're making a mistake and will probably fuck it up sometime down the road because, as you mentioned, you really don't know what you are doing. Alas, it's not my problem anymore. I'm going to continue my search for the woman who I am going to spend the rest of my life with, the woman who I feel about the same way I felt about you. But rest assured she will treat me completely the opposite of you did. And THAT I can promise you.
I honestly think that's about it. The Flyers have been playing well recently after shitting the bed and I hope they make it into the playoffs because that would be fun. The Eagles have signed Asante Samuel which is a great move and I just hope they pick up a wide receiver now. I'd really like to go down to Spring Training in a few weeks to see the Phils but I just don't think I am going to make it, and really, since Marilyn and I have gone our separate ways, I really don't see much of a pressing need to go down there. So we shall see. Oh yeah, and I love Lost.
In signing off for now, I'm going to go back and use one I used before as it seems to fit perfectly in regards to recent events:
Relationships fail not because of a lack of love. It's just that one loves too much, and the other loves too many.
Amen to that.
Things are going well, I must admit. I'm pretty happy in general and I really don't have much to complain about. Julia is doing so well, in fact, she is here with me right now, coloring. She just gave me a rock, lol! She is turning into such a fine little girl, so bright and smart and well-behaved. She loves to read and dance and play 'teacher' (kinda like her old man did when he was a little boy!). I cannot believe she starts kindergarten in just a few short months and I have confirmed that she is going to go to an excellent school right here on the Island. I so enjoy watching her grow up, playing with her, and teaching her things. I gotta say that kid is awesome at 'Memory'! I am looking forward to a wonderful summer with her: going to the beach, the pool, the playground, and being able to play outside a lot more. It's been quite cool here recently but I know it will warm up soon, and then people will be bitching about how hot it is.
I am thinking of flying my mom down for a weekend. I know she misses Julia so much, and I miss her as well.
Since I have confirmed Julia will be going to a public school, one of my main things to do is to try again to get my child support payment reduced. I spend entirely too much time with Julia to allow the huge payment I continue to pay. It's simply not fair. And I am actually thinking of asking my ex-wife if Julia could stay here overnight even more, I am thinking every Tuesday night. I don't know if it will work as far as my work schedule goes, but we shall see. The way it works now is as follows: Julia stays here overnight 3 out of 14 days. I see her, in one form or another, 9 out of those 14 days, whether it be picking her up from school and hanging out with her for 4 hours on Tuesdays, picking her up from ballet, etc). If she stays on Tuesdays, that would bump it to 5 out of 14 and 11 out of 14 days. I think that looks pretty good, and I gotta tell ya, sometimes I just miss the shit out of her. So hopefully everything will work out.
I've been quite motivated and I need to make some changes in my life. I want to quit smoking, start working out again, start a Lost blog, and learn to play the piano. I think I could become a pretty good piano player and singer. There are so many good songs I would learn to love to play. Nevertheless, it would be a whole helluva lot of fun to try!
I am fullforce into the dating scene, and am really enjoying myself. I am currently dating a very nice woman named Vicky. She works where I work, but just in a different department. I really dig her, I really do. She treats me so amazingly and really digs me and puts me over all the time, which is so nice. She thinks I am the sexiest thing walking! She even surprised me the other day by taking me to a day spa which was really cool! She's smart as fuck, naughty as all hell, tall and has red hair (another redhead?). Oh yeah, she loves to play dressup (ahem). We've been naughty quite a few times, and this girl has been so hot for me that sometimes she has come over BEFORE work to get it on. Wow! Anyway, I've been pretty honest with her in terms of well, everything, and I think it's really worked out for my benefit. There really is no need to hide anything and I don't, in regards to what I am into sexually, my past relationships, everything. I do believe there is some long-term potential there as she has many qualities that I do like, but I don't know, I just can't put my finger on it on what is holding me back. Time will tell, but I must admit, that I really like going slow.
Quick story: so last weekend I go over to Vicky's house in the morning and arrive there, and she is ready to go dressed as my blue vinyl princess (so hot, amazing in fact). So we have amazing naughty sex and it was just awesome. Anyway, afterwards, we decide to go and get something to eat. We're both all disshelved and literally STINKING of sex. She's lookin all post-fucked and sexy, and I swear it was like the gods smiled upon me, as we walk into the restaurant and BANG! There sits my exwife and my exwife's new husband and Julia. Julia comes running over to me and my exwife of course has a look of sheer HORROR on her face. It was brilliant, and of course it was obvious to anyone over the age of 16 what we just finished doing. THEN, to top it off, they are getting ready to leave, and Julia is at our table, so my exwife has to get up, walk over to us, introduce herself to Vicky, and shake her hand. Julia of course doesn't want to go and pitched a fit. Let me tell you my friends, as I sat in that booth, I soaked it all in and I felt like one million dollars and was so happy that fate and/or karma smiled upon me like that. It was beautiful. :)
Vicky, bless her heart, tops it off by saying "Jesus. What is she? 40?" YIKES! Huge pop!
Anyway!
Lori and I kissed. Yes, that Lori. We went out - just the two of us - last weekend and just had a great time. At the end of our fabulous night, we kissed. I really don't know how I feel about her. I mean, I am attracted to her, but again, I don't know if there is any long term potential there. I just don't think she is a naughty girl. I think we both know that we aren't a long-term fit for each other, but I know there is a lot of attraction there on both of our parts. That whole situation is weird, it really is. Plus, I'm also attracted to her roommate Mary. They are both my friends so I really don't want to fuck anything up in regards to that as the three of us are all quite close.
Also: I got the phone number of the girl who works at Julia's school yesterday. She's 19 (!) and just cute and hot and sexy! It looks like we are going to go out next Friday night. This girl ADORES me and gave me four hugs yesterday. Yeah, I must admit, that things are going very well for me on the dating front! It's all about finding that close-to-perfect fit, and I am certainly enjoying myself in my search. I really don't feel all that confident in my appearance, but I don't know, sometimes it more about attitude. If I can combine this confidence/attitude with the way I looked in December, look the fuck out.
Marilyn and I have decided to go our separate ways. We've been chatting over the internet for the past week or two and, really, it's just time to break this off. The conversations have been pretty intense at times, but she has made her own choices and has to live with them. I believe she loves me, but just not enough, ya know? She is actually moving into a house with that hideous boyfriend I told you all about. I simply cannot continue to care for this girl and wonder what she is up to. She wants to have a family and seems happy there but I just don't know as it certainly doesn't seem like it at times. I know she misses me sexually, and to be honest, that's probably about it. I miss her too but I must admit that every single girl I have encountered since Marilyn has treated me a lot better than she has (socially and sexually as well). I love the kid, I really do, but it's just time. I honestly think that she is the love of my life, but I am not hers, and never will be. I also don't think that Paul is the one for her either, judging from past comments she has made, and from also the fact that she was still talking to me. One of the things she did state which struck me was that Paul allows her to be herself and 'doesn't mind' when she sits on 'the bass players lap'. What I neglected to tell her was the fact that if he does care for her like she says he does, then it does effect him. He just doesn't have enough self-esteem to actually bring it up and jeopardize rocking the boat in the relationship he is so desperate for with her. She did the exact same thing with her husband. I, of course, wouldn't put up with it. So, she doesn't understand that she IS hurting him by acting that way, that it makes him feel two inches tall, makes all the other guys think she is easy, and most importantly, it is making him question his trust for her. And that is something she will never have whomever she ends up with: trust. Paul has already been spying on her as, of course, he doesn't trust her. Why should he? She does nothing to solidify that trust, and will probably never learn that. I think she is making a big mistake and told her so, but really, it's not my problem anymore. She is using poor Paul to a) have a boyfriend/not be alone and b) make her financial situation better. She'll wind up settling with him, continue to tell herself that she loves him, and then it will all fall apart, by her having an affair and him finding out. But the poor sap will probably forgive her and continue to let her run him over as she did with her husband. I simply had too much self-esteem to allow something like that to happen. I never trusted her, and why should I? Anyway, like I said, I love the kid, but she has made her own choices. She constantly refers to me as the best dad ever, I come to find out she could have had a job here, and I know I'm the best fuck she ever had. Then seriously, what is keeping her away? Every single girl who I have told this to comes to the same conclusion: she didn't love me. And she didn't. If she truly did, and we were meant to be together, that she would have went to the ends of the Earth for me, like any girl would do for the man they truly love (and many girls have told me this). And that's ok. I learned SO much from this relationship, and we really have nothing left because she told me she 'can't' see me. So there really is nothing left anymore, and I don't want to speak with her so she can tell me about her new house or her boyfriend or partying or whatever. So that is that. I took it a lot better than I thought I did, probably for the fact that I have quite a few others who think the world of me and think that I am the sexiest thing walking.
Adios Marilyn. I'll probably never see you again, so I am wishing you well in whatever you want out of life. I know you're making a mistake and will probably fuck it up sometime down the road because, as you mentioned, you really don't know what you are doing. Alas, it's not my problem anymore. I'm going to continue my search for the woman who I am going to spend the rest of my life with, the woman who I feel about the same way I felt about you. But rest assured she will treat me completely the opposite of you did. And THAT I can promise you.
I honestly think that's about it. The Flyers have been playing well recently after shitting the bed and I hope they make it into the playoffs because that would be fun. The Eagles have signed Asante Samuel which is a great move and I just hope they pick up a wide receiver now. I'd really like to go down to Spring Training in a few weeks to see the Phils but I just don't think I am going to make it, and really, since Marilyn and I have gone our separate ways, I really don't see much of a pressing need to go down there. So we shall see. Oh yeah, and I love Lost.
In signing off for now, I'm going to go back and use one I used before as it seems to fit perfectly in regards to recent events:
Relationships fail not because of a lack of love. It's just that one loves too much, and the other loves too many.
Amen to that.
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